loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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