I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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