Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
