if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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