Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
