I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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