Can Purell be used as lube?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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