is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
