are you still at the devil's house?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
