Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
