dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
