waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
