That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
