one might say we're banned from that church
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
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the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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