bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
