you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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