It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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