you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
my poor anus
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
