I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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