How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
