the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
