We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
