Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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