i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
