No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
