Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
