you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
