I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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