..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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