I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize