You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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