Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
