chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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