I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
