Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
