there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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