i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
