don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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