this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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