Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
there's paper in my vomit.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
