We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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