Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Randomize
