How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize