Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
