When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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