if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
That accounts for only three of the penises
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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