You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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