I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
