dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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