Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
