just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
whose parrot is this?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
