He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
