i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
