She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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