I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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