I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
