$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
