well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i may or may not be watching the land before time
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
