Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize