So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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