dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
