yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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